Feather Stitching

I’ve finally reached the end of my ’emotional rope’ today, and decided that I just want to go away for a few days and act like an ostrich, stick my head in the sand, and let the world go by. I’m OK, really, but just feel emotionally drained from all the stress I’m under at the moment.

Today was the final straw when I went out to a dead car before work – another $67 that I don’t have later, I reinstated my RACV membership and got my car kickstarted again, but obviously things are more serious and I have to take it to a true mechanic and get it looked at. It’s possibly either the starter motor or, hopefully, just the car alarm system playing up and draining the car’s resources. Today at work I just used the key to lock up and it’s been starting up fine … fingers crossed that’s all it is. Anyway, I’m not taking any chances and I’m taking public transport to work for the next week. Luckily I’m on ‘normal’ shifts for the next 8 working days, so that’s an option.

I burst into tears this morning before the RACV man came … then every time someone asked what was wrong this morning at work I got all teary again – all highly unusual for me. The financial stress has finally worn me down. So, if I’m not online for a few days don’t worry – I just don’t feel like blogging right now, and I hate being miserable online … I’ll be back again when I’ve perked up a bit.

See you again soon 🙂

What can I say today? If it doesn’t rain, it pours … on the way to work today my car battery seemed to be failing – no problems starting the car up, and it drove fine into work, but the dashboard clock was out of sync etc, with the alarm making a really strange sound when trying to use it. When I tried to lock the car manually when I arrived at work (seeing as the alarm locking system had failed), it locked the door and wouldn’t unlock again. Luckily I could open the passenger side manually and lock all the other doors that way. Anyway, I was feeling so shattered at work I cashed in my final 2 Luv Ya Work awards to leave an hour early to get my car fixed … only to find my car now wouldn’t start at all … I had a flat battery. Well, after being told the battery guys would be there within the hour, two hours later they finally turned up … $125 later and I could drive home again. I just hope like heck that’s fixed it, as when I parked my car at home, the alarm was still making a strange sound (I’ll be sleeping with my fingers and toes crossed tonight, that’s for sure!!).

I called and chatted to Mum for half an hour while waiting (I have a price cap on my mobile phone and this is covered thank goodness) – it was great to just have a moan about how fed up I felt … she’s the best listener in the world. We even had time to put our heads together and come up with some meal options out of what’s in my cupboards, as thanks to this little saga for the day, I may not be going grocery shopping for at least a fortnight now … especially when I walked into the flat to find yet another little gift, the gas bill {heavy sigh}. I’m trying to keep a smile on my face, but I do have to admit as soon as I walked in the door, I sat down and burst into tears for a few minutes … just a brief reaction to the stress, I think, as well as being exhausted from lack of sleep and trying to fight off a migraine. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll be fine, and there are plenty of people worse off than me, so I can’t complain too much! Hopefully after another two paydays I’ll be back on my feet again … especially with a public holiday coming up that I’m working.

It just means that I’m going to have to not go anywhere or do anything special for at least the next 2-4 weeks until everything is paid off. That also means not using my car unless absolutely essential, and making sure I make a packed lunch every day or going without etc. No coffee shop coffees, and no fast food … everything that passes my lips has to come out of my current pantry and freezer – if nothing else, it’ll get some old stuff used up and make some room, so perhaps that’s a good thing! 😉

Thanks again for your emails and comments of support – I really really appreciate it. All the lovely comments are helping to keep my spirits up. Hopefully I’ll be back to regular scheduled programming and my positive self very soon in a blog near you … {{hugs}}

Actually, I almost forgot about my stitching news – in the spirit of Halloween, and the fact that I own absolutely no Halloween items whatsoever, I really wanted to stitch myself something this year, but haven’t been in the mood … I was just sitting around like a zombie after work yesterday, so I forced myself to put a few stitches into a new start to try and cheer myself up, and came up with this … I just have to add three more words (2 x eeks and a boo) and the spider eyes, and it’s ready to be finished into an ornie. It’s Just Nan’s freebie “Just Jack”, stitched on 28ct light mocha Quaker cloth, using the recommended DMC threads. These are the only arachnids that will ever be allowed on my threshold without getting the Mortein treatment ;P

Well, I don’t feel quite as haggard today … I felt absolutely disgusting this morning, but it was a good day at work, with some fun people on the Hotline, so it made for a more fun day. I also got my recent call evaluation done, and was told by the Quality Evaluator that I was an extremely valued member of the Hotline, and being made permanent was one of the best decisions management have ever made … awww, that’s so sweet! 🙂

Financially, things are better today ‘cos it’s payday haha … I still don’t have spare cash sitting around, and I am on a very VERY tight rein for the next fortnight, which means Sydney is most definitely not happening. One of the reasons I’ve been panicking is due to my tax return … this is the first time I’ve ever had to pay money back, and it’s just over $500 (I wasn’t too phased about doing my return because I’ve always had money refunded to me … then freaked out three weeks ago when I did my tax online, and haven’t lodged it officially until today when I went through and re-checked all my figures before hitting “send” … sure enough I have to pay boohoo). Anyway, I just assumed (stupidly) that you had to pay it before the end of the next financial year … nope, you actually have to pay it by 21 November 2006 … bl**dy hell!!! So, if I had any possible doubts about getting to see my best friend in Sydney, that sealed it! It’s a shame, ‘cos Vicki’s never in Aussie, and it’s a real hassle to visit her in New Zealand as the flights to Nelson aren’t great. Oh well, I’ll just have to save up and make a side trip the next time I’m home in Auckland … whenever that will be.

Still no stitching news … I’ve been stalking the mailbox today and there’s no parcel in there from SB&B, so no scissor fob exchange being posted yet (my final exchange) … it’s early days yet, though, so hopefully it’ll be here over the next couple of days. I’ve been feeling too flat to do any actual stitching, so no new progress to report either hmmm. Never mind, hopefully I’ll make up for it on my days off this Thu/Fri.

Thanks again for all the supportive comments recently … it means a lot 🙂

Perhaps I just feel tired after being up so early today, I don’t know … but I have to say the last week has been a struggle financially – I think having the dinner party etc recently has been an extra drain on the finances, not to mention that stupid parking fine, and I thought I was doing OK, but then the electricity bill came in, and my bank account basically went down to having $10 spending money for the next 5 days … hmmm. Fraze asked me to come into the city to have dinner with him last night, and I had to turn him down, as I simply couldn’t afford it. I said to Mum on the phone I don’t even have bread or milk in at the moment oops. That’s not to say I don’t have any food in the house … thankfully I have some frozen pumpkin soup and chicken breasts/meat etc in, and plenty of pantry items to get a meal thrown together, but it’s been an interesting few days. Today I went out and bought milk and yogurt for my breakfast muesli, and emptied out the bank account in its entirety. I got creative last night and made my own bread in the breadmaker, as I have plenty of flour etc on hand, which made a lovely accompaniment to the pumpkin soup 😀

All-in-all, it wouldn’t be too bad … I do occasionally have a month where I’ll struggle financially, then the next one makes up for it and it all evens out. I’d managed to save up a wee bit of money behind me as a backup, but of course that ended up being spent on our Hong Kong trip. Anyway, what tripped me out is that I just received a letter from my real estate agent saying the landlord had requested a rent increase, and basically I have 60 days notice before it takes effect. I’m a bit peeved because when I talked about getting a cat he asked if I would be staying long-term, I’d said as long as he didn’t increase the rent, I’d be staying … he replied not to worry he definitely wouldn’t be doing that 😦 OK, admittedly, he’s only asking for an extra $5 a week, which is only $20-25 a month, but it’s all still an extra expense, particularly with weeks like this one when I’m down to my last $10 until pay day!! That’s the main reason for the title of this post … hmmm.

The way I’m going, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get the money together to see my best friend in Sydney … I might end up having to make a snap decision during that final week, to see if there’s enough money in the kitty left over for it. It will be really disappointing, that’s for sure, but then again there’s no point getting myself into more financial ruin by going if I really can’t afford it.

It also means I’ve been considering other areas where I’m just going to have to cut back. Like a few of my fellow bloggers, I’d dearly love to send Christmas and birthday gifts to my fave online pals, and I’d already been planning a few things, but I’m realising I just can’t realistically do it financially … my gifts this next year are going to have to be quite meagre, as every time I make a financial cutback I’m offsetting any benefits by spending extra money on gifts and postage, and I just seem to be running in circles and not getting anywhere in the case of reducing debt. As much as I adore buying for gifts (and I really have loved doing it this year for my online pals), I have to be realistic about it and make some changes … and it breaks my heart to have to think that way. I guess having that small rent increase arrive has given me food for thought … and that food is giving me indigestion!!

Sorry this is such a depressing post …

On a more positive note, thanks for all your comments – I knew that little sneak preview would make you think my latest gift stitching was Sweetheart Tree … it’s actually a Calico Crossroads sampler 🙂