Category: Home & Family TO BE FIXED

Thanks everyone for your comments and emails of support.  I’m very wary of turning this blog into one big pool of misery at the moment, so I’m thinking of taking a short break … I may be brighter about things tomorrow, but at the moment I’m just not coping too well emotionally.  After chatting to Mum for yet another 2 hour phone call, I’ve been in tears off and on for the last couple of hours.  I’m usually such an incredibly strong and positive person, but I’m really not coping too well right now … and that’s probably a big admission for me to make ‘in public’.  I can usually put on a bright smiling face, but it’s just not happening right now.

I haven’t been doing much stitching – a couple of letters got added to the border of For the Birds last night trying to force myself to get back into normality again, but at the moment my head is so cluttered with ‘stuff’ that I just can’t focus on any one thing, and I’m just spending my days aimlessly … and to be honest it’s been that way a bit for the last two months.  As I put it to Mum today, I think I just feel ‘overwhelmed’ right now.

Mum’s flying over on Sunday, so that’ll help to have someone here for emotional support and it’ll hopefully help me get back on a level footing again.  I also feel like I’ve letting people down lately, and that’s giving me some self-imposed pressure, which I need to address for my own sake.

I’ve been trying to catch up on a few blogs over the last two days, and I’ve been doing pretty well, but I’m not commenting much at the moment.  It’s helped to take my mind off things by seeing everyone’s wonderful finishes, WIP’s and new stash … at least I’m getting some sort of a stitching fix, even if it’s not with my own projects at the moment 😉

Anyway, hopefully the next time I post things will be a bit brighter … and there may even be a bit of stitching to show (For the Birds is almost finished, if nothing else).  I got my blood tests done today, so hopefully that means I can have a chat to my GP at some stage next week, and I can talk things through with him as well … because the way I am at the moment I’m thinking a bit of medical intervention may in fact be in order short term … phew, another huge admission!

Thanks again for hanging in there with me – I do apologise for being such a misery of late … and I know things will be brighter very soon 🙂  If things brighten up quickly I’ll be back posting shortly, but if I’m not you know not to worry, I’m just off de-cluttering both mind and flat 😉

Well, I ‘kinda’ have a moving date in mind, but I need to see if I can get the time off work first, and organise a truck etc.  But what IS official, is that I handed my notice into the real estate agent today and gave my month’s notice.  I officially hand back the keys on 4 June … yikes!  It’s all really happening now! 😀  And the real estate agent is going to give me a glowing reference, and says she doesn’t blame me for wanting to get out so badly.

Thanks to Tannia and a work colleague, I’ll be picking up some free packing boxes from Kensington (just have to work out where the heck that is yet haha) on Wednesday at 5pm, then it’s all on for young and old.  I have so much ‘rubbish’ to sort through before I start packing, though, but at least I can start packing things like my DVD’s and books straightaway.  Just spent another 2 hours yapping to Mum on the phone, and I actually feel quite excited in some ways that it’s all happening … then I feel a bit melancholic … then I feel excited again … what a nutter!  And Mum is hoping to come over and give me a hand if she can get her passport renewed in time this week – if nothing else it will be really nice to have the company, as well as the spare set of hands for packing.  I don’t know what I’d do without my Mum, bless her! 😀

I did say to Mum, though, I just walked across the room into the corner where the worst cracks are, and it feels as though the whole floor is on a slope now … that was a bit freaky!  I’ve decided I don’t need to get outside for exercise, I just need to walk up and down my lounge room for a bit 😉

And what do you think is the first thing we discussed about what I’d need to take with me in the car, not in storage?  Yep, you guessed it … my stitching.  Even though I’m not really motivated to stitch right now, that’s the first thing I’ve started planning for my travelling kit LOL.

Rightio, no more time to chat – time to start doing a bit of work for an hour or so … I’m not doing much lifting etc until my back’s fixed, but that’s only 24 hours away now woohoo, then it’s all systems go! 😀

Thanks once again for all your words of love and support – they all mean a heck of a lot to me.  I’m really sorry that I can’t spend much time returning the visits for a short while, but I’m sure you understand why 😀

OK, I’m off to start in the spare bedroom, which is the biggest tip – I think it’ll take me an entire week just sorting that one room out LOL.

I was doing a little survey of the lounge yesterday inspecting the cracks, and I started thinking about how quickly things have gotten quite bad with them, so I took a few photos of the worst parts and I’ve been comparing them to photos I took earlier, and it’s actually quite frightening just how quickly they’re deteriorating … which is probably why I’m freaking out more now my bedroom is starting to show some cracks building up as well. Anyway, I thought I’d share the latest piccies, and you’ll understand why I’m freaking … I’ve shown a couple of the comparison shots as well ‘just because’ 😉

I’ve used Webshots for the photos, which means all the photos are automatically clickable, as it takes you to the Webshots album for that photo … Anyway, welcome one and all to my world:

To start with, this is the worst corner in my eyes – this is the front window of the lounge, which opens out onto the road (I’m on the 3rd floor of the building, and every time I come home I expect to see fire trucks etc in the street, with my home contents strewn out on the pavement from the collapse on this side).  From left to right, we have photos taken on 5 Dec 06 and 12 Jan 07, then below is the one taken yesterday (complete now with the gap where the architraving fell off!):

  

Then we move to the actual window itself in that corner – this is as far shut as I can get it because the window frame is now all shifted and ‘skewiff’ and the window how actually sits ON the window frame on the outside of the building.  Now the weather is colder it’s like an icebox in the lounge, and there’s no point putting on heating, so I’ve been sitting huddled in my stitching chair under a blanket to keep warm … and we haven’t even had the coldest weather yet.  When I mentioned that to the landlord when he came round to inspect it while Mum was here, he said “wait until winter haha” – yeah, the last laugh will be on you buddy boy when you no longer have tenants and no rent money coming in! I actually bought some curtains last year for this window, then didn’t put them up because my new lounge suite didn’t suit the colour, but I’ve been thinking about taking Mum’s suggestion on board and putting them up just to cut out the cold breeze … but then again if I’m moving soon, it may not be worth the hassle (and it may take me that long to work out where the heck I put them haha).

 

To the left of the same window we have some serious movement as well – the whole window frame is being lifted … as you can see that is actually daylight showing underneath the window join itself, which of course shows it’s no longer joined!  Further left we see how the whole sill is shifted well over a cm now away from the wall, and the whole left side of the window frame is doing the same.  And there’s also a serious crack going down to the floor too.

  

Are you freaked out now as well?  Yep, scarey stuff … but wait, there’s more!! (but I apologise in advance, there’s no set of steak knives)

Back into the lounge now, in the corner of the archway is another doozy of a crack … if you look closely you can actually see daylight up there at the top!  This is where I first started freaking out at the agents last year … and when Mum was here she also noticed something that I hadn’t … if you look carefully enough, behind the bookcase in the same corner there’s also a pretty significant crack going up the wall too – I can’t see the full extent of that damage as it’s behind the bookcase, but I guess I soon will!  To start with, here’s a before and after series – again we start with Jan, then yesterday (can you see the bit of daylight? it’s where that ‘beige’ part is) … then there is the crack behind the bookcase – the crack coming down from top is the end of the ceiling crack with the bit of daylight!:

   

There is also the horizontal crack across the wall – I actually presume it finishes behind the bookcase by joining that hard-to-see crack, but I’m just guessing there.  Regardless, it goes right across the wall as far as the eye can see anyway, and goes around the corner to meet the window sill in the infamous ‘bad corner’ …

 

The dining area hasn’t changed that significantly since I started taking photos, except the crack is a bit bigger and the balcony door blows open every now and then because the lock doesn’t sit very well together anymore … luckily so far it hasn’t happened while it’s been raining and I’ve been at work!!  There’s also a lovely opening down the bottom of the door because of the door now being out of plumb … just an extra added pleasure now the colder weather is here!

 

I’m also keeping a close eye on the archway between the lounge and the dining room.  They’ve obviously had a crack there before, as the ‘scarring’ is starting to show … there’s a teeny tiny hairline crack starting, but I can’t tell if it’s just the paintwork showing stress, or whether it’s an actual crack beginning … but that ain’t somewhere you’d want a major crack appearing in my eyes!

 

So, there you have it, ladies and ladies (I don’t think there are any gentlemen that read my blog, aside from Fraze once every six months … although I guess I could be wrong) … welcome to my ever so humble home in all its glory – or perhaps I should give it a nickname of “The House of Horrors” haha. 

I think I’ve made my decision that I really do have to get out of here for my own sanity and safety – I’ll deal with everything else later, for now I just want to have a safe roof over my head, wherever that may be.  I’ve sent an email to Sally about the housesitting, which I should get an answer to tomorrow, then I’ll start thinking about getting some boxes (thanks Andrew or Len for stealing my old ones from where I had them in storage at the old place – I really appreciate having to fork out and buy new ones again, thanks so much!)

I may even pop down to Dan Murphy’s (my version of Heaven – liquor wholesaler extraordinaire haha) to see if they could spare some empty wine boxes, as they’re perfect for packing books away, to save me buying more file boxes. 

Anyway, that’s tomorrow’s job – today I intend having one more day of rest and relaxation before I start dealing with everything.  At least today I’ve stopped crying, which is good in itself!  And I managed to get a really good 8 hours sleep last night, which was even better … only two more sleeps before I get this shoulder fixed up yay 🙂

Yesterday I managed to almost finish the centre piece of a new start … For The Birds by the Drawn Thread (just have the backstitching left) – today I hope to get the whole thing finished, as there’s just the border to be done plus the tiny bit of backstitching.  I’m still not getting a whole lot of joy from stitching, but I’m forcing myself to do it to try to get that joy back … the only project I feel like stitching on is Bordeaux, and I’ve discussed it with Carol that if I can’t shake the feeling off, I’ll just pick it up and stitch on that for some therapeutic stitching if nothing else (but that unfortunately throws out SAL out, which will be really disappointing).  Regardless, though, there should be a stitching piccie of some sort tomorrow – I figure this post is picture heavy enough without a WIP piccie too 😉

I’ve spent today on and off in tears … I kept getting teary-eyed at work today, and finally almost broke down in the office with my ‘old’ supervisor Sally.  What happened to send me over the top today?  Partly my own fault … and I’m kicking myself for my own stupidity … I had 1 1/2 hours overtime approved before my shift started today, but I thought I’d written it down for after my shift, meaning I essentially ‘no-showed’ for my overtime … so I arrive to the news that I can now not request overtime for the next month!  Seeing as that was to be my ‘saviour’ for my latest financial situation, that was the last straw for me … I’ve been in an emotional meltdown ever since 😦

I don’t think it was helped whatsoever by the fact I haven’t been sleeping properly compliments of my trapped nerve/neck pain – but I can’t get in for an appointment until Tuesday afternoon to get that manipulated back into place.  Anyway, I decided my state of mind at work wasn’t helping anyone, so I made an appointment to see my local GP, who was excellent – he’s sending me for extra blood tests for other things, as I’ve also been having problems with swollen feet and ankles this week, and my blood pressure was quite high tonight.  He wants to take it again in a couple of weeks once my back/neck pain has subsided, and I’m less stressed … he then looked at me and asked if I was depressed … I promptly started getting teary-eyed and upset again, then explained that I had been under a lot of stress before Christmas financially not being able to buy food basically for 2 months, and that I’m stressing that I’m getting back in that same position again, not to mention my housing situation.  I thought I’d been doing really well holding it all in, but it’s been lurking away in the background obviously, and today the floodgates opened in earnest!

Anyway, he’s given me a certificate to keep me out of work until after next Tuesday … should give me time to get back on an even keel again – and he’s also given me some Voltaren tablets to help ease the pain a bit, and which will hopefully give me a better night’s sleep than I’ve been getting now.

On the other side, Sally says she’s going away for almost 2 months, and was considering getting a housesitter in to look after her place (in East Bentleigh, not too far from where I am now, and where I used to live when I first moved to Aussie) – so a new possibility would be that I give my notice in here, pack up everything into storage, and look after her place while she’s away (starting from next month, I guess).  That means I’d also have my bond money back from here, which is pretty much $1,000, before I moved into the new place, which takes the financial pressure off a bit.  It also means I’d be living basically rent-free for that time, giving me chance to get back on my feet again.  Anyway, it’s an option to consider, I guess – my head is almost splitting tonight with a headache (from the stress, I think), so I’ll have to think it over again when I’m thinking more rationally.

 Sorry for blurting this all out tonight – I was going to write an “I’ll be back soon” post, but then I thought it would be good to just get it all off my chest … and if there’s nothing else about me, it’s that I’m 100% honest and up-front on here – dirty laundry and all.

Anyway, I’ll be taking it easy over the next day or three, so don’t worry if I’m not posting or commenting much – I have much to mull over …  Mum, expect a phone call from me over the next day or so – if it wasn’t for the time difference you would have had one tonight!! 😉

Just a really quick post to say how much I’ve appreciated the cyberhugs and comments that have been left for me. I still don’t particularly feel like posting or blogging, so I’ll still be offline for a while longer. I’m not sleeping too well at the moment, and I’m on 6am shifts this week so that doesn’t help my mood at all.  I can’t even say that I’m stitching up a storm either, as I’m too exhausted most of the time to put a needle into fabric.

A couple of answers to questions about my car – unfortunately no I couldn’t pay in instalments, and they refused to give me a ballpark figure whatsoever before I flew to Perth … guess who won’t be going back to them?  It’s also not an option to sell at the moment, because I’d still need additional funds to ‘upgrade’ it, which I just don’t have.

One extra thing that is worrying me (probably unnecessarily) is that the real estate Manager (yep, the head honcho himself) came round to visit on Tuesday just before I picked my car up, and was very concerned about the building.  He started to say something about the works and stopped, and let’s just say I got the impression that I may not be permitted to stay in the building.  Anyway, I’ve since been online to the Tenants Union website, and been reading about Notices to Vacate … if the building is deemed inhabitable etc, then I could be served with an Immediate Notice to Vacate”, meaning I have to move out immediately … the alternative is a 60-day Notice to Vacate, and as far as I understand it the works will be taking place within 60 days.  I spoke to the Tenants Union on the phone yesterday and if I get served with an “immediate” notice then I can fight for an extension of say 14 days to make arrangements to move out, but basically there is no compensation made at all, even though you pay rent a month in advance and they are not longer providing you with a roof over your head that you’re essentially paying for.  The Union did say, though, that they would refund any rent already paid in advance … geez, that’s really comforting!  Anyway, let’s just say that’s preying on my mind a bit at the moment … I just hope like hell it doesn’t come to that … ‘cos at this stage I still don’t have another home to go to 😦

So, once again, please forgive me if I’m not online for a while longer – I may just mark all unread feeds as read soon too, as at the moment they’re about to hit the 1000 mark, and that’s depressing me all the more seeing that counter go up every day, and I just don’t have the mental energy to catch up at the moment.  In fact I don’t really feel like sitting here at the PC at all, so I know I really am not feeling fantastic 😉

I’m sure I’ll bounce back very soon … I just don’t see the point of sitting here whining online every day – it’s best for me to come back when I feel more positive and more like ‘my old self’ or I’ll start putting you all off reading my blog 😉

Thanks again for your continued support … I hope to see you again soon with a huge smile on my face 😀  {{hugs}}