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It’s been an emotional rollercoaster today – I spent the morning getting quite teary-eyed from all the gorgeous comments and personal emails I’ve been receiving (love you all!) … then at work I had a stressful 6 hours, which ended up turning my entire mood into almost fits of giggles!

I’ve been involved with a big issue at work that I initially dealt with two nights ago – that was a huge involvement and ended up with me and another girl off the phones for a number of hours trying to fix something. I emailed a spreadsheet of all those bookings that were affected etc to our Head Office before I went home at 11pm … then they continued to work on the problem overnight. The next day the problem was still not resolved, so they asked the morning shift to continue the same way that I had the previous night, and to send new spreadsheets every 4 hours so they could continue to deal with them. I was called at home at 8.30am yesterday morning, after only getting to bed at 2am (not impressed), then again at 10.30am, just before I was getting ready to come into work (and I still can’t work out why the phoned me, ‘cos we didn’t discuss any of the procedures etc) … anyway, when I get to work I find out they’d found my original spreadsheet, and added all the new problem bookings to the list (rather than making a new spreadsheet which had been requested) … to add insult to injury they then put the entire list in alphabetical order … and saved the files … so when I came in I had to spend almost 4 hours comparing the old file in my email, to pull out all the new bookings – and because they hadn’t processed the ‘fixes’ properly, I had to go into each and every new booking and fix them up as well. Another office then topped it off yesterday by not ignoring these particular bookings on the queues, and queue-delaying them until today, which means we had to wait until this morning for them to pop up again, then start going back through the queues to find them all and starting again today.

Well, the final straw when I came in at lunchtime today for work to see if they’d managed to find them … I’d ended up having to stay an extra hour at work last night fixing the problems before emailing the entire corrected list to our Head Office – then left an email plus a printout of a spreadsheet, with lines wide enough for someone to write on them, asking for someone to write up any new bookings (the queue-delayed ones) onto the forms, then to fax them to head office for the final tally. What do they decide to do? They said among themselves, “that’s really silly, when we have this great spreadsheet already set up, let’s just do the same as yesterday, and add them all into the old spreadsheet, then sort them alphabetically again!” … My face when I came in today to be told that was a total picture!!!

So, today I spent another 4 1/2 hours cross-referencing through the same lists yet AGAIN (of over 300 bookings), and having to go into every single new booking yet AGAIN to fix them up … only to get a call from Head Office from an extremely apologetic manager saying not to worry, as the company we’re dealing with had finally managed to pull their own report from their own system, so they’d just use their own data …… aaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the loooooong version … anyway, the upshot of all this, is that I’ve had a shitty few days at work just because of sheer incompetence of other staff members, and tonight’s call just sent me over the top – I couldn’t do anything else but crack up laughing and got the giggles. Two of my work colleagues have given me “Luv Ya Work” awards ‘cos of everything I’ve been doing for the last 3 days … here’s hoping the smile will be here to stay for a while longer 😉 If nothing else I got some great compliments from the manager in head office I’ve been dealing with for 3 days 🙂

I had a good talk to Mum on the phone before work too, and she agrees with me that I should basically forget Christmas (stitching-wise particularly) until after Christmas, and just treat myself to some selfish stitching “just for me” – so that’s the plan … I’ve listed three projects that I’d really love to stitch, even if it’s just making a start on them (I’m still missing a couple of threads/beads), and that’s what I’m going to focus on until after Christmas … then I’ll get back on track and get stitching ornaments again ready for ‘whenever’ and back to my rotation. As Mum says, that way it takes my mind’s focus off the negatives of what I can’t do for Christmas, and puts it back onto something more positive 😀 Thanks to everyone’s suggestions on that score – they’ve all been taken on board 😀

This weekend I’ll be doing a list of the entire contents of the freezers – which won’t take very long going by what I saw yesterday LOL – and a bit more menu planning to get me through the next three weeks at least. I’ve just cooked up the 1kg mince I had into spaghetti bolognese sauce, so that’ll last about 6 main meals – and I made beef stroganoff in the crockpot yesterday (I only had half the meat required but I still made the full recipe), so that’ll go into the freezer for another 3-4 meals (I just have to add a bit of sour cream after it’s been reheated). There are still 3 chicken breasts in filo pastry left … so that’s pretty much covered two weeks of meals … I’m just not sure what else is in the freezer.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a more positive post for a change – thanks again for all your lovely comments and support, and thanks for hanging in there while I’m going through my less than positive phase 😀 {{hugs}}

Now I’m off to start kitting up one of my projects … the four at the top of my list for starting are (in order of preference):

• Coffee Menu – Little House Needleworks (I have everything, just have to choose which fabric to use)
• Sapphire Star – canvaswork by Laura J Perin (I still have one thread on backorder from Dragonfly Dreams, but otherwise ready to go)
• Fire sampler – The Victoria Sampler (pretty sure I have everything)
• Angel of Love – L&L (have everything, I think, except I only have one packet of each of the beads, and from memory there are about 3 colours that need more than one packet … if I get time to start this one I’ll just stitch as far as I can until I run out … by the time I get to that stage I should be well and truly over my ‘poverty line days’ and should be able to pick the last few beads up from Spotlight or somewhere)

Seriously, thanks for all the support – it’s very unusual for me to get so down for this long … it’s just a case of riding the storm until the weather calms, which will hopefully be by Christmas … hopefully. I’m very lucky in that Mum’s taught me to be a packrat where food’s concerned, and I have a tall chest freezer for bulk meat etc, so at least I haven’t gone hungry so far, even if my menu has had to be substantially altered for a while.

For Alison – I don’t have a monthly budget, in that I automatically pay bills as soon as they come in, and know what’s normally due to come out … so whatever is left at the end of the month is technically ‘free’, and things are not usually this bad. Unfortunately, though, I had $1000 sitting in the bank and blew it on our Hong Kong trip, so I don’t have a ‘back up’ for emergencies any more. Even that would have been fine as there should be sufficient to pay the bills, but having my car keep breaking down and costing about $300 overall, plus a very unexpected $500+ tax bill all of a sudden due (not to mention the $120+ parking fine – and extra money spent on a dinner party), and “I’m screwed” to put it very bluntly. Normally paying bills are fine – some pays I have a small bit left over, other pays I have some extra spending money … but all this lot came totally out of left field, and I was unprepared for it.

It also means I’m gonna be frugal for a while longer even when things do even out a bit again, so I can get some emergency money behind me again, then next time I won’t be so desperate 😦 So when I can get back to decent grocery shopping, I’ll still be eating cheaply for a while longer.

For Maria S., KarenV & Nicki – I have to admit I probably will continue to make my ornies for those special people, but I may now wait until after Christmas and continue stitching them again … and I might take on the suggestion of a “cheer me up” new project. I’ve been seriously itching to pick up LHN’s Coffee House Menu, so perhaps that’s what I should do – and take my mind off ornaments and my rotation for the time being. My ornies will eventually be posted, just not in time for Christmas this year. Maria, your comment about not eating while stitching gave me a smile this morning 🙂

Nela – Thanks so much for your beautiful words, they are so much appreciated 🙂

I’ve even been looking at other areas to cut back this year – I’ve thought for a few years now that I don’t know why I bother sending Christmas cards etc to most of my UK rellies, as I never hear anything from them in return – I’d rather spend the postage on people who actually give a damn about staying in contact … that’ll be a decent saving in itself over time. So this year is the last year I send to ‘everyone’ (in fact I might make two lists of rellies, and may not send to everyone this year either), and no longer will they get the colour family newsletter on photo paper that I take care to publish and send every year – those with email will be getting it as a .pdf file this year, and any of my UK rellies that don’t send me a card this year will be removed from the future mailing lists … Mum’s doing the same thing too. With the cost of the cards, photo paper, colour ink cartridges, and postage it costs $100-$200 each year to send them out, which is just ludicrous, and I’d rather spend the money on those that I want to.

I even said to Mum perhaps I should go back to dial-up, as well, to cut the costs – but that will be an absolute last resort, as my computer access is my life-blood at the moment 😉 It’s a shame I can’t do it without a home phone, as I barely use that at all, and that’d be a $40 saving every month – I could survive on just my mobile hmmm.

What hasn’t helped is the news saying the lack of rental properties in Melbourne is likely to see up to a 40% increase in rental fees next year, which really cheers me up no end … and I would be well and truly beggared then! It’s been depressing me thinking I may also have to consider moving into shared accommodation if this happens … for those of you who know some of my past experiences here with flatting with Fraze’s mates, you know how much that scares and depresses the pants off of me. Add to that the news reports mentioning a possible takeover bid for our company, and that doesn’t fill me with positivity about job security either … admittedly that’s very very new, and it may not have any initial impacts even if it did go ahead, but in our industry nothing is ever safe and speculations have already commenced … perhaps you could have waited until after Christmas to drop that little bombshell on us all, management team 😦

Anyway, even with this loooong post tonight, it’s still likely that I won’t be posting quite so often for a short while – I’m very aware that my blog isn’t full of the joys of spring at the moment, and I don’t want to come on here and moan about everything every day … I hate being so down in the dumps in my posts, and I’d rather put those thoughts to one side for now. Aside from that, I’ve had stress headaches every single day for the last couple of weeks, and sitting at the computer screen all day, then again at night, doesn’t really help matters much.

Thanks again for your words of support … I promise to be perkier before Christmas, honest! 🙂

Just a quick post to apologise that I won’t be able to send any Christmas ornies in time for Christmas this year – I had high hopes of getting 6-10 to some very special online people, but I just can’t afford to do it post-wise. After paying my bills this month there still isn’t enough left over for the tax-man, and next payday is a smaller one with no weekend allowances with the month’s rent taking almost all of it … which means 12 Dec pay will be used for paying the tax-man now. It also means I still can’t have a good shopping day food-wise until then, and I’m starting to get to the bottom of my frozen foods etc and need to keep every cent I can at the moment to put some semblance of food on the table. This truly breaks my heart, and it’s put me in a bit of a stitching slump too – my whole month was planned around stitching these ornies, and it’s put a real damper on the month knowing now that I just can’t do it.

Sorry if I haven’t been online too much – just don’t have too much to say at the moment … to be honest it’s taking me all my energy just to get up and go to work – I’m trying to catch up on a bit of blog reading every now and then, but I won’t be posting much unless there’s any stitching or photography to share for a while.

Toyota Commercial

We were just talking at work the other day about our all-time favourite commercials … this has got to be mine! I still crack up each time I see it … and it’s changed my vocabulary for ever! 😉

No stitching being done today, as it’s finally time to clean up a bit and do some housework. I’m off into the city later this afternoon for a small treat to have dinner with Fraze – we had to put it off a couple of weeks ago due to the fact I couldn’t even afford the train ticket to go in, let alone dinner. This week I’m still sitting on an unused train ticket that I didn’t end up needing last week, and dinner is dirt cheap at about $7 each where we’re going, so I can justify this one as a little cheap splurge. While I’m in there I’m also going to pick up a couple of fresh veges from the Queen Victoria Markets for some upcoming recipes (mainly mushrooms, but also capsicum and courgettes). My car won’t now be going into the garage until Friday morning, so I’m still limiting myself to almost zero spending until I know how much that’s going to set me back … then I’ll know what spare money I have (if any) from this pay for a bit extra food etc.

Last night I did a bit more stitching – and I now have two half-finished ornies … the Just Nan one I need to the over-one stitching, but after doing all the grapes yesterday morning, I couldn’t face it last night. Then I just have to add the beads and Kreinik braid to the Elizabeth’s Designs tree and that’s finished too. No more ornie stitching now until I get my gift piece finished … plus I really want to make up a couple of pieces into their ‘finished’ items … these last few days have been really uplifting with all this stitching and creativity – definitely just what the doctor ordered!

Thanks again for all your love and support over the last few days … I must say today is the first time I’ve laughed properly in a good week at least, and I feel much much better. I was telling my colleague Lucien at work today why I was so upset on Saturday, and said after my car breaking down yet again and with all the stress I had a major headache on Saturday … well I had to take some Nurofen and didn’t have any food to line my stomach with, so I spent part of that last $10 I had before payday on the vending machine ($1.70) after much to-ing and fro-ing with should I, shouldn’t I? … Only to put the money in and have the darned muesli bar stick on the bottom shelf …

Well, today I got the tummy rumbles (probably a good sign too, because my appetite’s been so-so this last week too), and couldn’t sit at my desk with my rice and tuna salad lunch … so seeing as my horse got scratched this morning (typical! but I get my $2 back) I opted to head back to the vending machine and spend another $1.70 for another muesli bar … only to have the same thing happen … it’s stuck in the machine!! Well, I had to drag Lucien out to witness this little phenomenon as I’d just finished telling him the story, and he absolutely killed himself laughing for about 10 minutes!!! I just thought it so ridiculous and unbelievable that I couldn’t help but start laughing as well … let’s just say I WON’T be buying a Lotto ticket this week! 😉

I have to admit, the pressure is off a tiny bit too as I’m now halfway through to the next payday, and my car has been behaving itself which is a major relief. I’ve been leaving the car alarm off, and just locking the door manually with the key, and it’s been starting fine. I’ve just been granted Mon/Tue off work next week, so I’ll take it in to an auto electrician and get them to disconnect the alarm … I just have to find the old Nissan remote, and I’ll be all set to go again just using the built-in disabler etc.

Anyway, all-in-all I’m feeling relieved a bit financially – the car shouldn’t cost much to disconnect (I hope), and with the extra money coming in for working today (plus I’ve also worked two Sundays in a row as well in the same pay week), fingers crossed I’ll be able to survive the next payday OK and get that tax paid etc. It’ll still be tight for a few weeks, but I’m in a better frame of mind to handle it again now, and the horizon doesn’t look as bleak as it previously did 🙂

I’ve got a few long weekends coming up which I’m going to fill with selfish stitching … I have a 4-day weekend this weekend due to getting my car fixed, then a 6pm start on Wed, so that makes it almost a 5-day break – then I’m at work for two nights (Wed/Thu) before having another 4-day weekend, as I’d taken two days off work to fly up to Sydney to see Vicki and Brenda for their birthdays (but of course I can’t go now) … then the following week I get a 3-day break due to my actual roster – gotta be loving that! 😀

Geesh, I can tell I’m back to normal again … I can’t stop waffling!! 😉 I’d better sign off and put this new-found energy to good use and get some dinner cracking … Thanks again for putting up with me, and offering those shoulders and comments of support, the last few days – it’s meant a lot, and helped me to keep my head above water 😀 {{hugs}}

I’ve finally reached the end of my ’emotional rope’ today, and decided that I just want to go away for a few days and act like an ostrich, stick my head in the sand, and let the world go by. I’m OK, really, but just feel emotionally drained from all the stress I’m under at the moment.

Today was the final straw when I went out to a dead car before work – another $67 that I don’t have later, I reinstated my RACV membership and got my car kickstarted again, but obviously things are more serious and I have to take it to a true mechanic and get it looked at. It’s possibly either the starter motor or, hopefully, just the car alarm system playing up and draining the car’s resources. Today at work I just used the key to lock up and it’s been starting up fine … fingers crossed that’s all it is. Anyway, I’m not taking any chances and I’m taking public transport to work for the next week. Luckily I’m on ‘normal’ shifts for the next 8 working days, so that’s an option.

I burst into tears this morning before the RACV man came … then every time someone asked what was wrong this morning at work I got all teary again – all highly unusual for me. The financial stress has finally worn me down. So, if I’m not online for a few days don’t worry – I just don’t feel like blogging right now, and I hate being miserable online … I’ll be back again when I’ve perked up a bit.

See you again soon 🙂

What can I say today? If it doesn’t rain, it pours … on the way to work today my car battery seemed to be failing – no problems starting the car up, and it drove fine into work, but the dashboard clock was out of sync etc, with the alarm making a really strange sound when trying to use it. When I tried to lock the car manually when I arrived at work (seeing as the alarm locking system had failed), it locked the door and wouldn’t unlock again. Luckily I could open the passenger side manually and lock all the other doors that way. Anyway, I was feeling so shattered at work I cashed in my final 2 Luv Ya Work awards to leave an hour early to get my car fixed … only to find my car now wouldn’t start at all … I had a flat battery. Well, after being told the battery guys would be there within the hour, two hours later they finally turned up … $125 later and I could drive home again. I just hope like heck that’s fixed it, as when I parked my car at home, the alarm was still making a strange sound (I’ll be sleeping with my fingers and toes crossed tonight, that’s for sure!!).

I called and chatted to Mum for half an hour while waiting (I have a price cap on my mobile phone and this is covered thank goodness) – it was great to just have a moan about how fed up I felt … she’s the best listener in the world. We even had time to put our heads together and come up with some meal options out of what’s in my cupboards, as thanks to this little saga for the day, I may not be going grocery shopping for at least a fortnight now … especially when I walked into the flat to find yet another little gift, the gas bill {heavy sigh}. I’m trying to keep a smile on my face, but I do have to admit as soon as I walked in the door, I sat down and burst into tears for a few minutes … just a brief reaction to the stress, I think, as well as being exhausted from lack of sleep and trying to fight off a migraine. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll be fine, and there are plenty of people worse off than me, so I can’t complain too much! Hopefully after another two paydays I’ll be back on my feet again … especially with a public holiday coming up that I’m working.

It just means that I’m going to have to not go anywhere or do anything special for at least the next 2-4 weeks until everything is paid off. That also means not using my car unless absolutely essential, and making sure I make a packed lunch every day or going without etc. No coffee shop coffees, and no fast food … everything that passes my lips has to come out of my current pantry and freezer – if nothing else, it’ll get some old stuff used up and make some room, so perhaps that’s a good thing! 😉

Thanks again for your emails and comments of support – I really really appreciate it. All the lovely comments are helping to keep my spirits up. Hopefully I’ll be back to regular scheduled programming and my positive self very soon in a blog near you … {{hugs}}

Actually, I almost forgot about my stitching news – in the spirit of Halloween, and the fact that I own absolutely no Halloween items whatsoever, I really wanted to stitch myself something this year, but haven’t been in the mood … I was just sitting around like a zombie after work yesterday, so I forced myself to put a few stitches into a new start to try and cheer myself up, and came up with this … I just have to add three more words (2 x eeks and a boo) and the spider eyes, and it’s ready to be finished into an ornie. It’s Just Nan’s freebie “Just Jack”, stitched on 28ct light mocha Quaker cloth, using the recommended DMC threads. These are the only arachnids that will ever be allowed on my threshold without getting the Mortein treatment ;P

Well, I don’t feel quite as haggard today … I felt absolutely disgusting this morning, but it was a good day at work, with some fun people on the Hotline, so it made for a more fun day. I also got my recent call evaluation done, and was told by the Quality Evaluator that I was an extremely valued member of the Hotline, and being made permanent was one of the best decisions management have ever made … awww, that’s so sweet! 🙂

Financially, things are better today ‘cos it’s payday haha … I still don’t have spare cash sitting around, and I am on a very VERY tight rein for the next fortnight, which means Sydney is most definitely not happening. One of the reasons I’ve been panicking is due to my tax return … this is the first time I’ve ever had to pay money back, and it’s just over $500 (I wasn’t too phased about doing my return because I’ve always had money refunded to me … then freaked out three weeks ago when I did my tax online, and haven’t lodged it officially until today when I went through and re-checked all my figures before hitting “send” … sure enough I have to pay boohoo). Anyway, I just assumed (stupidly) that you had to pay it before the end of the next financial year … nope, you actually have to pay it by 21 November 2006 … bl**dy hell!!! So, if I had any possible doubts about getting to see my best friend in Sydney, that sealed it! It’s a shame, ‘cos Vicki’s never in Aussie, and it’s a real hassle to visit her in New Zealand as the flights to Nelson aren’t great. Oh well, I’ll just have to save up and make a side trip the next time I’m home in Auckland … whenever that will be.

Still no stitching news … I’ve been stalking the mailbox today and there’s no parcel in there from SB&B, so no scissor fob exchange being posted yet (my final exchange) … it’s early days yet, though, so hopefully it’ll be here over the next couple of days. I’ve been feeling too flat to do any actual stitching, so no new progress to report either hmmm. Never mind, hopefully I’ll make up for it on my days off this Thu/Fri.

Thanks again for all the supportive comments recently … it means a lot 🙂