Normally it’s a colour I enjoy, but I don’t like it when it’s describing my feelings … how can it be that just overnight your emotions switch from one opposite end of the scale to another? Today I have had the dampener put on what is supposed to be a fun event, by my best mate … a text message received at 4am stating he’s not going. I don’t mind that so much, apart from the fact that I had to shell out the $65 for the ticket cost in advance – told him it had to be paid by 24 January, but I never got the money … my account ended up in overdraft, and I got hit with a $29 fee. Since then I’ve had to scrape the money together, but I figure I have that money coming today so I re-budgeted, yet again, around that … you’d think I would have learnt by now!!
I guess that’s why I feel so blue … my finances since I moved out are so tight, it’s not funny – I’ve been putting $20 away each payday so I can have some ‘fun money’, but has been spent on some sale threads/fabric lately, so I can’t even fall back on that today. I also have my official birthday dinner next Saturday, at which I am expected to provide wine etc … That $65 is the equivalent to my food and petrol costs for a week – that’s a huge amount of money for me to shell out for nothing, on top of the cost of my own ticket!
I’m sorry for venting … but I wanted to get it out of my system before I went out. Today was supposed to be a part-celebration for my birthday … it now looks like I’ll have to use the birthday money I got from Mum or work to have a day out today … so much for using it for framing – I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I feel today … but in this friendship, unfortunately, it’s nothing new. Hopefully, by the end of today, I will have gotten over it … but right now I feel like a 40-year-old doormat. The truth is I know him too well, and he doesn’t have the money to give to me, so the easiest way out is to bail and leave me with the bill.
OK, enough of me airing my dirty laundry to the world (especially as he and his new girlfriend read this blog apparently) … Carol, I think I need to come to you for a visit – I can stitch my heart out in that wonderful basement of yours, inbetween therapy sessions!
Rightio, off to get dressed, and try to get myself out of my funked-out mood … at least I know some of the others going from work today, so I won’t be totally on my own today … Mind you, just looking out the window there are serious black clouds out there, so the day might end up actually matching my mood LOL.