So much for enjoying my 3-week break at home and de-stressing from work and everything else that has been getting me down. Sadly my Auntie Betty passed away last week, and I had to break the news to Mum over the phone. As we were chatting I was telling Mum of my upcoming break that I couldn’t wait for and had so many plans of what to do on my days off, only to have Mum ask me to come over home and she’d pay for the airline ticket … not just once did she mention it, but about 5 times in total. I figured she obviously needed me at home, so I’ve sucked it up and put my own needs to one side and have flown home to spend time with the family again.
As much as I love my family, and on the whole enjoy being able to do things for them when I can when I come home, I don’t know whether it’s just that I wasn’t mentally ready for this trip or what, but their arguments and moaning are really getting to me. It usually takes a lot longer for it to wear me down, but this trip is a real struggle for me, and I find I just don’t have any energy to do things like I normally would. Then of course I feel guilty when I get those “I wish I was at home” moments, which of course doesn’t help my motivation levels. Don’t get me wrong, we’re still having some nice moments and even just doing ‘nothing’ can often be nice at home … I just felt like having a whinge, I guess, as another day is passing me by without making the most of being here. I can’t even be bothered cooking or shopping, which is usually my first chore when I come home … and certainly can’t be bothered stitching … although perhaps if I forced myself to do something it may kick me back into gear again. I really don’t know why I feel so down over here this time round, but I do know I need to kick myself in the backside and get over it! I do know, however, that I’m going to make sure I get a full week at home before heading back to work, to get some small smattering of ‘peace’ into my days before getting back into the grind! Thanks for letting me vent for a while … :)
The other thing I’ve been doing, though, while I’ve been here is building up my wishlist … and trying to track down a kit that I fell in love with years ago but have finally decided I really really need to find it. I’ve been trying to locate an email address for the suppliers, but having no luck so far. I have managed to find a ‘dodgy’ version on a Russian website, and found a blogger that has stitched it, but no luck in tracking down a real kit or used chart. Anyway, I’ll keep looking, but if anyone has a copy laying around somewhere unloved, I’d be interested in buying or trading for it … :) The designer is Elizabeth de Lisle and the design is called Blue Rhapsody (with Anchor threads in the kit).